See those eyes? That's focus. |
As I've mentioned in previous posts, I've been reading my novel and analyzing what I need to fix.
Today, I read through pages 1-16.
Commas and extra words are the main problems I've noticed so far. I have an obtuse love for commas, and in the process of my speed writing placed them in horrid locations throughout my text. In addition to commas, I place the word "though" in plenty of times. Also, "the" has mangled into a position where it comes just before many adjectives. Grr. As far as repetition goes, I'm not nearly as bad off as I expected. However, several sentences have needed rewording, which is to be expected.
In this first bit, my main character decided to turn into Robin Hood. I'm positive this was the result of me writing my novel from 11:30pm - 2:00am daily... it created corny lines. One is, "Take from those that have, give to those that need." My main character, Elijah, isn't Robin Hood... he's just a poor kid stealing some food from the well-off. Nevertheless, he's decided to secretly think like Robin Hood. Also, I've realized that my town, Kindle, has a rather cruel policy for kids that steal. Zero tolerance is an understatement.
All in all, I'm happy with my prologue and first chapter.
-TWO-12